April is Cesarean Awareness Month. I won’t bore you with the shocking statistics of c-sections. I won’t get on my soapbox about how unnecessary c-sections are performed daily. Instead, I want to take a minute to embrace those Mamas who have had a c-section. In many cases it is not what the mom wants or has anticipated. I know my c-section was very much unwanted, unnecessary and I was unprepared. I even skipped the c-section part of my birthing class because I didn’t think I would need to know that information.
I know, for my situation, the doctors were unprepared and not skilled in breech birth. Because of this, my c-section was the safest way for Bunny to be born. To all the c-section mamas, I am sending you a virtual hug. Weather planned or unplanned, a c-section is a huge decision.
It is okay to mourn the loss of your “perfect birth” I know after I had Bunny everyone told me the most important thing is I have a healthy baby. Yes that is very important. But so are your feelings. It is OKAY to mourn the loss of the birth you envisioned. Your world just got turned upside down. Whatever your birth plan was, even if you didn’t have a birth plan, a c-section was, I’m sure, not a part of it. It is okay to feel sad about this. Embrace it, talk about it, work through it. Don’t hold it in. Let it out and try to get past it. This is very hard, I know. The biggest thing that helped me get past my c-section was my HBAC.
You are strong! The strength it takes to walk to that operating room, knowing what lies ahead, is immense. My Love couldn’t be in the OR with me until I was already laying down and anesthetized. This means a C-Section mama has to enter the OR alone, without her support people. We have to have the anesthesia put in while we sit in a cold, bright room alone. Often wondering whats going to happen while trying to wrap our heads around what is going on. I know I felt like I was in a dream. The strength it takes to lay there, knowing they are cutting into you to get your baby out is unfathomable. You can’t see anything, but you can feel the pulling and tugging. You don’t get to witness your baby being born, you don’t get to hold your sweet child immediately. It takes strength and courage to have a c-section, to give up control, to trust everyone in that room.
I was “lucky” I didn’t labor before my c-section. I have heard of many mamas who have had hours or days of labor before having a c-section. Many of these mothers think they have failed. You did not fail! You gave birth to your baby. You did what was best for your baby. You are strong and capable. You are a good mom. You did something nobody wants to do to ensure your baby’s safety. It takes such courage and strength to have a c-section, especially after hours of exhausting labor.
Your scar is beautiful. It is a part of you and a part of your birth story. It is a constant reminder of how much you love your child. You will heal, emotionally, mentally and physically. It takes a long time to heal from a c-section. Take your time. Don’t pressure yourself. Always remember you are beautiful. You are strong.